


The World Might Do Me In

by casual alien (creamsicleSteam)



Series: We Are the Kids You Never Loved [4]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Backstory, Fake AH Crew
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 15:38:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5972283
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/creamsicleSteam/pseuds/casual%20alien
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Usual drill? Just to be safe?" Matt asks as they arrive. </p><p>"Yeah, probably a good call. I'll go check it out, if I'm not back in fifteen and you hear nothing come looking, if I'm not back in fifteen and you hear shooting get the hell out of dodge." Jeremy agrees easily.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I Been Feeling Like a Ghost

Jeremy and Matt exchange looks from their seats in church. They make various facial expressions and gestures with their heads, a specific church-code they use for when they wanna talk but can't exactly do that or for when they're making plans outside of church. 

This discussion goes a little like this:

_Found a new place to hit_

_where?_

_industrial area, warehouse_

_sweet, when are we going?_

_tonight after parents leave again?_

_perfect_

 

Jeremy liked to spray paint, Matt liked to exercise his tech skills. Matt would find abandoned buildings or low security areas for less risk of getting caught in the act. When they got there Jeremy would use his almost unnatural stealth to check the places out before going to get Matt and paint. 

What made Jeremy love everything about his stealth was that he was usually so loud that no one ever expected him to be quiet, let alone actually be stealthy. It was perfect. 

When church got out Matt comes up to Jeremy and tells him the details of the new place while their parents were busy being social. They never texted each other details, afraid that Jeremy's parents may check it when he wasn't looking. It had only happened once before and luckily it was only Jeremy jokingly asking Matt to do his homework that they had seen and called him out for. It was fine, mostly, after he explained it was a joke, but they never texted each other important information after that. 

The warehouse was supposed to be abandoned, owned by one Mark Nutt. Everything looked good about it, there was no activity from the place in years. Matt was surprised he hadn't found this one sooner. There were no security cameras within blocks of the place, it was a low priority on police patrols. The nearest inhabited area was at least a mile away. All in all, it seemed perfect. 

Matt and Jeremy exchanged goodbyes as their parents called them to leave. Getting home from church that day left Jeremy antsy, excited about tonight. He passed the day by playing his parent mandated non-violent video games. He went through different ideas for what to paint in his head, eventually deciding on a few different ones depending on the area available to paint. 

When his parents finally call him to dinner he sat quietly at the table while his father recites grace. He didn't even really believe in god. He didn't think Matt did either, he was too cynical. He'd never say anything about it, though. He'd just stop going when he moved out. Though, at least two more years of going to church like a good little boy doesn't really sit well with him. He'd deal with it though, he has so far.

Jeremy was infinitely grateful that his parents didn't make him go to evening church with them. It was a school night, so he was supposed to be in bed before they got back and to their knowledge he always was. 

_Matt's lucky his parents aren't as strict._ Jeremy thinks as his parents bid their farewells, telling him to make sure he's in bed by the time they return. He always is, he replies. 

Once Jeremy is sure they're gone he rushes to his room to gather his things, quickly shooting off a text to Matt letting him know in code he's ready to go. 

 

Jeremy meets Matt at the halfway point between his house and Jeremy. Matt is older than him, so he has a car, which makes the sometimes necessary quick getaways that much easier. Jeremy grins at him when he gets in the car, excitement showing for miles. 

"Dude, this is gonna be great." Jeremy says immediately. He starts rattling off ideas he had earlier to Matt, who at this point simply nods along, giving little tips here and there. 

"Usual drill? Just to be safe?" Matt asks as they arrive. 

"Yeah, probably a good call. I'll go check it out, if I'm not back in fifteen and you hear nothing come looking, if I'm not back in fifteen and you hear shooting get the hell out of dodge." Jeremy agrees easily, knowing Matt isn't as suited for some things as he is. 

Jeremy gets out of the car, slipping into his stealth mode easily. He makes his way up to the building, finding a fire escape leading up he thinks this is probably the best bet, if it's not abandoned come in high, people don't usually look above eye level. Of course, that also makes for dramatic and dangerous exits but he's never been in a situation he couldn't get out of yet. He plans on keeping it that way. 

Making quick work of the lock on the door he cautiously moves forward. It would not, however, be the first time he's had to call Matt to help him get out of holes in the floors he didn't see walking in. 

He's doing a quick walkthrough when he hears it, the telltale sound of voices, he silently curses to himself. Maybe it'd just be more artists, maybe he'd get lucky and it'd be fine.

He was not fine. He turns the next corner to find an open area, a lounge, almost. In said lounge is none other than the Fake AH Crew. _Oh, fuck,_ Jeremy thinks to himself. 

They're going over a heist plan. Jeremy hears the tail end of it. He can't even move. This was the worst situation he's ever found himself in. If he's caught that's it, they'll kill him. 

When they break from discussion they all shoot the shit for a minute, joking and laughing. Then Geoff Ramsey, the infamous leader, goes over and farts on the British one. 

It's probably entirely hysteria, the situation he's found himself in, but Jeremy can't help it. He laughs. 

Everyone freezes. Jeremy finds himself being dragged in front of everyone by the collar before being held down on his knees. He doesn't even think about it before he starts talking.

"I'm sorry! I didn't mean to break in! I mean I did, I did mean to break in but I didn't know this belonged to you, I'm sorry! Please don't shoot me! I thought it was abandoned!" He babbles, giving more excuses, not even fully aware of what he's saying just trying to save his skin. 

"How long have you been standing there, kid?" Ramsey asks him.

"I don't know, ten minutes maybe? I didn't mean to stand there that long I just didn't know what to do." Jeremy replies. 

"You know, kid, if you wanna get hired this is exactly not the way to do it. You're hired." Ramsey says. 

"Geoff, what if he's a spy? We should kill him, he's seen too much." None other than the Vagabond suggests. 

"Eh, you a spy, kid? How old are you?" Ramsey asks him. 

"N- No," Jeremy starts, starting to panic again. "I'm sixteen. Almost seventeen" He adds on a little lie at the end, sure that if Ramsey is serious about hiring him he's not gonna want such a young kid on his crew. He doesn't turn seventeen for a while. 

"See, he's fine. Welcome to the crew. You got a name?" 

"Jeremy Dooley." 

And this is how Jeremy accidentally got hired by the Fake AH Crew.


	2. I Got Survivalism

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And this is how Matt also accidentally joined the Fake AH Crew.

Matt looks at the clock in the car, worrying his bottom lip. It's been fifteen minutes and he doesn't hear shooting. Protocol says go look for Jeremy. It wouldn't be the first time he's had to go help Jeremy out of a hole in the floor. 

He's just hoping that's all it is. Letting out a sigh he gets out of the car, making sure to lock it behind him. He tries to figure out how Jeremy even got _in_ the building when he spots the telltale open door for the fire escape. 

Climbing the fire escape with a great amount less stealth than Jeremy, Matt silently curses him and his seemingly endless energy. He's almost out of breath and he's only climbed a flight of stairs. 

Pushing the door open reveals nothing of interest to him. He wanders down the hall until he hears voices. If Jeremy had run into other artists and just forgot about Matt, he'd have something to say about it. 

Matt had no idea how much he was hoping Jeremy had only run into other artists until he tripped over his own feet, falling down and alerting everyone to his presence.

Immediately Matt finds himself being manhandled into a bigger room. 

_Ohgodohgodohgod. This is how I die._ Is all Matt can think, probably outwardly panicking. 

But suddenly he's face to face with Jeremy and all he can think is _what the fuck_. 

"What the fuck, Jeremy! Did you think maybe telling me you were alright was a good idea? You said fifteen minutes! It's been more than fifteen minutes! You know we have to be home soon, this was supposed to be a quick run!" He shouts in Jeremy's face and at least Jeremy has the decency to look sheepish. 

"Sorry. I got distracted." Jeremy replies. 

"Distracted. Right. So you just left me in the car to not be concerned about whether you fell into another hole." Matt deadpans. 

"Hey! That was only a few times!" Jeremy huffs. 

"Well, this reunion is really touching, but who is he? We hired you, Jeremy, you didn't say you had anyone else waiting for you. _Are_ you a spy?" Ramsey butts in. 

"No! This is Matt. He finds our locations to go do street art. Makes sure there's no security or that it's a low risk area. He's great at that technical stuff." Jeremy explains. 

"Is he now? Care to prove it?" Ramsey asks Matt and Matt decides right then that there is no way he can say no to this man. He didn't actually look at the men around him before he laid eyes on Jeremy but he instantly recognizes them as the Fake AH Crew. They are so _fucked_. Why did Jeremy think this was a good idea? Were they just saying they'd hire them before they took them out back and shot them? Fuck, he might as well do what they ask. At least it wouldn't be as bad if he cooperated. 

So he proved himself. They set him up at a desk with a laptop and told him to get past a firewall on a certain website and not half an hour later he turns back to them and announces he's done. 

"Holy shit. Vagabond, haven't you been trying to get past that for like a week?" The curly haired man says. 

"Yeah. I have been. Geoff, this kids good." The Vagabond replies. 

"You looking for an employer, Matt? We'd hate to see someone of your skill end up somewhere else." Geoff asks him and it's not actually a question, he knows. God, the things he did to save his ass. 

"Yeah, yeah, sure. Absolutely. I'd love to not die young." Matt replies. 

And this is how Matt also accidentally joined the Fake AH Crew.

**Author's Note:**

> because matts isnt going to be long enough to warrant its own post im tacking it on as a second chapter  
> more updates next week!


End file.
